I believe ...

 I have occasionally written about spiritual things over the last two years, primarily on my other page. I have been a Bible student and for most of my life, although independent of any orthodox authority. My gleanings have proved to be unconventional as far as Orthodox theology and doctrine is established. In recent years I have explored spiritual concepts outside the orthodox religious norm.  this is an excerpt from an assignment I am working on regarding my spiritual perceptions. That currently is about 20 pages long (and more to be written) and trying to understand me fully would be incomplete without reading those things... But ... in a nutshell ... this is how I have currently evolved and what I understand as “real” ... This is my summation at the end of my dissertation ... I may eventually post more of the assignment as I expand in different areas. If you are interested in the entirety of what is written so far ... contact me and we’ll make arrangements for you to get a copy as it currently exists...

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My spirituality is essentially who I am and what I have done ... and what my intentions and focus are ... It can’t be separated ... although intention and focus are primary. I believe that which we call the divine resides in everything and we, human beings, are essentially spiritual residing in a body that is basically an extension of our spiritual being. In a sense ... spirit slowed down to be comprehensible in a material environment. If quantum physics theories prove reliable... I think that which may have been at one time perception of the mystics and other spiritually attuned individuals may well prove to have scientific validity. Scientific models of Quantum physics, field theory and others finding credence all fascinate me, as they substantiate the potentiality of much that had once only been the experience of mystics, shamans and the occult (of course these are only models, and models change, but psychic experience beyond what is conventionally accepted, may well find validity, as we continue to explore and study these beyond traditional Newtonian paradigms). I believe there are possibilities for realizing spiritual truths transcending the physical resident in each and every one of us ... and as we consider and master our own being ... understanding what we fully are as human beings ... we see ourselves aligning with the universe and becoming free from limiting material human constructs of what the universe and humanity should be defined as. I do not believe there is a separation of spirit, soul and body ... they are all one ... but only defined as separate entities for the sake of trying to perceive truth about us deeper in us and yet transcending our persons. I believe ancient myths are not to be understood literally, as pointing to deific figures, but are metaphors of what we are, or can be as human beings. Their purpose is not the establishment of a hierarchical order, but rather to teach us of our own human potential. The same is true of tales of indigenous peoples such as the American Indian. The characters of the “hero”, the “fool”, the “wise man” and all the many others are archetypes of our human experience. I believe dreams are windows into our deeper subconscious and speak to us of who and what we are, hidden deep inside and emerging to the surface. Understanding them leading to understanding ourselves and realizing what is our greater potential as human. I believe love ... magic ... and miracles ... are all essentially the same thing ... manifesting as we give ourselves to a deeper truer understanding of ourselves. I believe the most significant thing a human being can experience is this intimate love relationship with another ... transcending the sexual ... but finding it’s greatest physical expression in the celebration of the sexual union. I believe death is not the end ... I do not believe in heaven or hell – except as we create them in our own lives ... I believe life ... consciousness ... continues after we discard our physical bodies ... I believe energy can not be destroyed ... only changes form ... and finds expression ad infinitum ... We are all connected and one ... and it should always be remembered that these perceptions are always evolving and expanding as long as the human heart and mind are open to fuller understanding... In a nut shell ...

I believe the orthodox Christian Church (which basically includes them all – Roman Catholic, Protestant and Eastern Orthodox) is essentially a perversion of what the church never was and more than anything a political entity sanctified by the political order first and most fundamentally during the time of the Roman emperor Constantine. There is a great deal more I could say about this as to how I come to my conclusions, but it should suffice to say ... I have done my homework.  ...

Courage

Most who know me would know or least have a clue that I find NO glory in war and I render no support for current American foreign policies. In some respects I might be closely associated as a pacifist although that would be an over estimation. In real situations of self defense and preservation of life and where the needs of those I love are concerned I can be unforgivingly aggressive. But though I do not approve of the glorification of war and aggression I do esteem the character of courage … and particularly in the face of daunting odds.

Courage can manifest and be displayed in many ways. Men like Martin Luther King Jr, Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela each were men of courage. Many such as Steven Bicko, martyred South African activist during the apartheid era have influenced me. In the United States during our own more socially expanding conscious period of the Civil Rights movement, many of us became aware of the likes of Medgar Evers through the music of artists such as Bob Dylan.

But I am not a pacifist. Not in the absolute sense. “There is a time for war and a time for peace” Ecclesiastes (something). But I do radically curb my aggressions. Some might say I do this “too much” – others “not enough”, but I am the only judge of what is right or wrong for me.

But I do admire courage … and … I am no hero … not in any “classic” sense. But I admire and try to live … as best I can … in a tenacious position of what I know is right. I am not overly concerned with the “right” others may wish for me to adopt or adapt too, I have to live my own life and with my own conscience, not my governments or my church or any other individuals. I have to live with myself. And I must learn to be that self regardless of all the rest … and that … in any culture takes courage. Because there are few cultures that are truly embracing of free, open, honest examination. They are virtually all closed and protectionist. Defending or radically asserting their own perceptions as absolute … either demanding compliance through intimidation or the force of violence. And we let our reason and rationale run amok … assuming our own absolutes. Absolutes born out of ignorance … and content to remain there.

I have faced, and continue to face the realities of poverty, I have considered and am confident I can survive and thrive if I were incarcerated. I have considered that death is not the end … only a transition of sorts … and though I do not relish the idea of dying (not now anyway) … I am not fearful of what it might be or what is held in store for me (I’d just rather delay it as much as possible – I am beginning to enjoy what ‘this’ life has to offer). But I can not live my life without courage … defined by me … and not any other.

In the early 1990’s my family began a tradition on Christmas day, after all the morning presents and such, of going out in the late afternoon or evening to see one of the recent motion picture releases. You can figure we caught virtually all the biggies that would have interested teens and younger children. But this was the first, and we went because the kid’s mother and I were both heavily into historical things. “Gettysburg” is one of my favorite flicks as it is fairly historically accurate based on the novel “The Killer Angels”. I love the portrayal of Lt. Colonel Joshua Chamberlin by Jeff Daniels. From the research I have done, it does seem very plausible. I have walked the area of Gettysburg where the actual event portrayed here occurred, numerous times. I still love the town, though I have become more intimate with the realities of life there, apart from nearly a hundred and fifty years removed from the battle that made it famous. But it is not the battle, or the events of three days in July 1863 that impress me here. It is courage … 

I view this clip as a metaphor. It IS NOT a glorification of war. But it is a metaphor of what we all must at some time face in ourselves if we are to grow beyond the limits and impositions that others around us and the culture we inhabit would try to mold us into.

I am not a brave man … I am a man who knows what I feel … feel deeper than what I have been told is “right” … and I must be true to these depths. Few will ever understand just what these are … I will be happy if only one other can … and I think that is now very … very close.

this world we have all ultimately got to come to grips with ...

We all know that there is a world that transcends the Internet and I do not speak of spiritual dimensions that I am often prone too. But … that’s another subject, which I will get back to … whenever. But I speak of the “real world” (or at least the physical one we mostly can agree exists) of human beings … flesh and blood … hard floors and TV misinformation … commercials and cops … capitalists and revolutionaries … and just about anything in between. This … is the world we have all ultimately got to come to grips with. If my spiritual perceptions can not deal with this … they are (at the most fundamental level) … deficient … or possibly devoid of any greater spiritual value. Not to say that they are not true for what they are, but they fail at the most basic level. And that does me little good.

I am a musician … and as well have capabilities in recording engineering and a few other associated skills. I also have a varied self acquired knowledge of a number of other subjects generally spiritual, historical, computers, psychological and philosophical (becoming less as the list progresses). You might add that I am a political hodge-podge … some left … some libertarian … and oh so little support for national and International American policies. And I think the capitalist system as it has evolved is intrinsically corrupt and needs to be redefined apart from corporate control and influence. Of course I know that this last one is an absolute pipe-dream … but I do not deny myself the pleasure of an occasional pipe or other such rolled delight.

But yet I must adapt all of this …. “stuff” … to the task at hand … and survival is the task at hand. And I suppose it ultimately is for all of us. No matter the system or what we may believe … or want to believe.
I have been an Internet protagonist since I first became aware in 1996 and before that had operated Computer Bulletin Boards over the phone lines. I got my first computer in 1983 and everyone thought I was nuts. But … the decision and the knowledge gained paid off in very significant ways shortly thereafter. But I was not interested in committing to a life invested in computers … oh god no … But I loved what I could make them do … and it still boggles my mind … and I see no end to it. But computer communications… and our ability to connect … (locally and now internationally) … this was always my favorite.

I believed some things were possible years before they became mainstream. But music and spiritual interests were always at the forefront of everything. They still are. But these are ultimately very personal, and with spiritual things each must ultimately figure it out for themselves … though I do regard teachers and mentors as highly beneficial. And music … as personal expression … well … that’s a “no brainer” …. I think we can mostly all appreciate that. BUT … I am not interested in music as purely an avocation … I am interested in it as a career … a life style … an artistic expression that speaks beyond my own desire and speaks into and for a culture that I happen to inhabit. This is a dream that I had committed myself to several years back and as the realities of pursuing this dream became more consequential life patterns of many I had relation too were thrust into a state of unanticipated disruption and change. Too say the least … I was caught off guard … I didn’t know what the fuck was going on. I was no longer in control of life … life was just happening … and I was on a friggin’ roller coaster … with a god damn brick wall at the end of it … and no effin’ way to get off.

I don’t know how … or just what the situation was … but one of my contacts (who is a psychologist) began to explain to me how “as I proceed to follow my dream … I could expect my ego to ‘grow’”… Well … this was a little bit of a shocker … because I had always been taught the “evils” of this ego thing and the “gentle Jesus meek and mild” sort of crap … and was only relatively new considering the “knowing thyself” aspect as fundamental to understanding what true humility was/is. You know the “ego trip” syndrome that musicians often get hung up on. It’s all bull shit. Because I began to understand that if they had no such ego … they would not create any such artistic invention that the rest of us all gravitate to and admire as representations of what we feel and know. Now, this does not excuse a lot of the egotism that we all hear tales of, but the ego itself is not the problem. It is our inability to master it and know what it is and it’s limits and extents as we relate to other human beings.

If I am to succeed in what it is I believe I am … and musician/artist is what I speak of here … (there are other things but not contextually pertinent) … I will grow into what that is and my ego (persona reflecting this) will change and evolve accordingly … Maybe I’m just full of shit … But in the real world of flesh and blood and making love and the woman I desire … that seems to be the way it works.

I want a lot in this world … I am a very patient man … that demonstrates it regularly. But I am a man with intention … I have desires and varied goals … I will grow in these … I will not remain stagnate … I will become what it is I already know that I am … And my spiritual nature will have its way in this world we have all ultimately got to come to grips with.

Thus I have written …

I feel that I may be a bit of an anomaly. I don’t lie, at least not intentionally; although to protect ones I love I’m sure I would in certain extraordinary circumstances. What I speak and write is very personal to me. I mean the words I use to communicate “are not just words”, they are representations of me … who I am … what I feel … what I think. Abstractions of what is “real” to me in my being.

There are some who think I use too many words and think too much. I will not argue or belabor the point, by their perspective they are right. But I will not cease to think nor will I immediately refrain from using combinations of words that I determine best expresses what I understand and feel. Yet … I do recognize … that in particular situations “words” are superfluous. And to some sound empty or hollow, without substance. It is as though language has lost all meaning and value. I find this a very sad and regrettable state that we live in.

I was married for thirty two years. Not an unfaithful day during that time and was celibate the two years prior and since separation and divorce there had not been a sexual encounter. Now it is true that in the past two years there have been women who have interested me, but nothing came of them. Something in the chemistry was missing or could not sustain itself over time, and I don’t believe it was simply a matter of physical proximity, though I may have jumped into bed had the opportunity afforded itself. But in all, my “obsession” with what I have come to understand as “myself” and being true to what I know myself to be was primary. Very few ladies (or men for that matter) can comprehend the totality of this, or maybe better said accept me for what I am.

To me my words are me. Or, probably as close as most will ever get to knowing me. I take them seriously … for the most part … though I can joke and cut up with everyone else … that often takes some by surprise and they don’t know when it is a “joke” and I am kidding them.

Having lived a rather “sheltered” conventional conservative life through marriage and raising children, there are those who consider my perspectives and perceptions as rather naïve. A year ago one even stated that they felt the need to protect me in what might be considered the real world of street life experiences. Unfortunately this assumes a certain ignorance on my part of the realities of human nature. I admit a degree of lack of street experience … but the lack of experience does not preclude a lack of understanding or knowledge of such. Business relations are something I have had all my life, and human nature is no less intrinsic there, or more ideal, than it is in any other facet of life.

For the most part I have had a rather good life. Certainly not perfect and there were the usual ups and downs and occasional crises that were a part of it. And even though my affiliations and ideologies have evolved I am still intrinsically the same man who was faithful to the same woman for so many years (that is ended), and find no need to fly from flower to flower. I don’t expect this will ever change. The track record seems pretty good so far and I have no desire to alter it.

So … you see … my words are me … they are not “just words” … And the woman I love … is not just one of the women I relate to as friends … she IS “the woman I love”. And there is only room for one … I can not and do not desire more.
Thus I have written …

Cowboy Creations - a wondrous thing

The mind is a wondrous thing. Oh … I am not talking about the "brain", although that certainly must be considered and plays it's own part in the input and distribution of information and our perceptions, but the mind, the part of us that is quite separate from the physical aspects of matter, if not actually at least virtually transcending physicality's and time and space.

I'm not a psychologist, or a psychoanalyst, but I have read a great deal of Carl Jung and a number of others and it has greatly influenced my thinking.  I certainly am not a scientist or a physicist, although I have studied the theories (to a limited degree) of Bacon, Newton, Einstein and now the quantum physicists.  I'm not a theologian though I have studied Bible extensively and generally come up with unorthodox conclusions, and  in more recent years have studied the writings of the Gnostics, the mysteries, eastern philosophy and these associated religions.  Metaphysics fascinates me.  I am an artist - a musician - I use both left and right brain - they both serve an intrinsic purpose accomplishing what it is that my mind perceives and I wrestle in life to express. 

Many have commented, in many varied and sundry ways, that I am a philosopher.  Though I have a very difficult time conceiving myself as such I am highly honored that they would think so.  Because I am no one particular, I'm just a man struggling to make sense of it all.  In many respects I've had a good life.  I've loved and lost, I have married and raised a large family.  And I've lost that. And I have found that love does come again. 

There was a time I was very hard, probably for most of my life.  It is easy to rationalize, it is a hard world.  And hoping to prepare the ones I love for such a world I instilled into them hardness that I was feeling wrapped in a cloak of what I now understand to be superficial pseudo spiritual religiosity.  But this is what we were taught .  This is what our religion was giving us .  And it's not only my religion or that of a single world religion .  It is the religion of modern contemporary reality.  Not Christian or Muslim or Buddhist or any of the rest, but a mindset that takes the input of the brain - the five senses - and deduces  from it, "this is all there is - there ain't no more - make the most of it …baby".

I highly respect the knowledge that can be observed and recorded as the operations of physical dimension.  But I find these lacking of any true purpose meaning value to what it is to me to be human. 

I have found my purpose - my meaning - in the cries for understanding of others who allow them selves to come close to me.  I've found my value in the expressions of joy and laughter and delight in the one I would hope to please.  There's so much external - physical - that never enters the equation.  That is not to say that we do not delight in our most basic human capacity.  The pleasures of the flesh are no less real and human than all that high in nobler stuff that many wish to separate and divide me from what I am. 

Yet all that I know transpires in my mind.  Is it the cause or the effect?  Is it the elemental reality of all?  The thing we have called consciousness … and only a portion of our collective consciousness? Or are  we totally separate - isolated - and divorced from each other?  I do have some conclusions here (or at least relative conclusions to who I am right now - I'm sure they will evolve as I do), and though I cannot prove them with any objective criteria my own subjective experience continues to expand and I can feel confident I am not separate, I'm not alone and time and space do not define who or what I am. 

And I experience all reality in my mind. Where allowed, I find I can probe the minds of others, and we are not separate.  We can "know" the other. And though some cannot conceive such thing, we can create our own reality … and often manifests … transcending … but now invading lower planes of contemporary existence.

Love, magic and miracles … call them what you will. All begin in the mind … what shall I create today? 

My World

This is my world. It is not that other. Though both exist simultaneously, this is the world that few may ever see.

Not that it never was manifest, but few are capable of comprehending it. Too many would try to explain it, or analyze it and thus dissect it into it's many various parts, but it can't be done, because it exists as a whole and there is no division, and all relates as one. There is no body or spirit, they are not separate entities, there is no dichotomy between the mind and emotion. We are all human, we all exist, there is no illusion of what is not, only what we create. And many can create a great deal.

In my world, there is no debate … only relate … and everything else finds it's place. Our persona's are what we decide to share, a gift of ourselves we give to each other, and all are worthy of respect. There is no doubt of the existence of any as we all are what we chose to be. And the depth of ourselves deeper than our image emanates and exudes in an environment safe from lifeless eyes and empty minds, but connecting with longings shared and embraced … in words …and music …images … and silence.

This  my world - is not my fantasy, it is my reality. I have seen miracles … and I have made magic … And I have made love … and they all exist. And I cannot comprehend their difference … they are all one and the same.

In my world all is not reason and logic, mathematics and measurement. These all exist, but they do not define or explain. They are clues, bread crumbs dropped along a path into the forest. In my world to know you is to touch you and feel you to see behind your eyes and experience a world not unlike my own, but a new dimension in reality, that we freely choose to give each other … but never … never … to impose upon each other. One gives another receives … there are no rules … there is no law …there is NO judgment … only to love the other. And if there is a code of conduct it is this "get over yourself", we are all only one of the many.

But many cannot live in this world. It is a state of being that has not been given too them. And some hoping to see, would force themselves and presume perception, not realizing they are blind. Because none can demand anything … and not everything is comprehended in the mind, the stuff that intelligence is made of. But feeling (for lack of a better word) realized in the mind, yet existing beyond it, inflicts itself and I emote … I come alive … transcending, though not divorced from my body and all else that is me … the human being.
Many have not been invited into my world. … it is all a gift … and a gift that often takes time to grow and mature. The rules of the world of our "alter egos" do not apply here.

I am crazy as a loon … a mad scientist in my laboratory creating my monster … I am Charles Manson and Mother Theresa, Gandhi and Hitler, I am images of the past and visions of the future, I am the dreams of all, and all are in me … I am that I am … what do you want to be?

Stay too the right ... then make a sharp left.

This is inspired by a comment by Karin to a “quick message” I posted recently regarding Christian political ignorants (not ‘ignorance’ though it does apply, but “ignorants”. I see the one as a condition and the other as the persons). So what if I’m an arrogant, opinionated SOB. You can’t please everyone and I really don’t care to try much among certain segments anymore. It’s all relative depending where you find yourself on the religious/spiritual and/or political planes of thought and perspective. “To thine own self be true”.

In the mid to late seventies I was intimately involved with much of what was evolving within the Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christian community. My own  ‘Christian’ spiritual and religious understandings were yet in the early stages of development, though my approach to knowledge and truth were more highly influenced by my earlier questioning of  authority as realized and manifested in my rebellious “hippy” years of the late sixties and the early seventies. Generally speaking, I was a zealot, but without a great deal of foundation to express my arguments regarding what I ‘believed’. I found myself sitting under the teaching of a highly intellectual pastor who consumed religious information at a rate that would boggle the minds of most and disseminated this to his congregation weekly and through the week through various courses. But prior to becoming a part of this I had already spent over a year travelling with an independent Evangelical evangelist who taught his trusts how to research the resources of the Bible and utilize these to “get it for your self”. This ability to think and study freely eventually led to challenges to the system that were disconcerting to some and perceived as rebellious by others.

In the late seventies I was first introduced to the teachings of Francis A. Schaeffer through a series of videos produced by Frank Schaeffer, the son of Francis, entitled “How Should We Then Live”. The series was excellent and if you are interested in history in general, art and the influence of both art and Orthodox Christianity on Western culture it is well worth the time. This led me to explore many more of the writings of Francis A. Schaeffer. I have read about 15-20 of his works including reading twice a trilogy of his philosophy/theology considered foundational to the rest of his writings. In his later years he wrote numerous books including “A Christian Manifesto” which is loosely a Christian response to Marx’s ‘Communist Manifesto”. There are many more, but time and space precludes enumerating these, and a history of  L’Abri, although I can attest that from the perspective of a conservative theological and historical understanding of what is “true” these are excellent works. The reasoning and logic is virtually unarguable. BUT … that is “assuming” that the “Orthodox” perception of history and reality is in “fact” true. Should that “assumption” be proven to be “false” and that the “Bible” is not in fact the absolute measure of “truth” … the reasoning is just so much religious dribble and rehashed lies, even though presented in all sincerity and “faith”.

Now, having said that, I will say that I do highly respect Francis A. Schaeffer and the insight he has exposed through his writings regarding many issues that should concern both Christians and non-Christians. I simply think the foundation upon which he builds his logic is faulty … but I respect the man and many of his conclusions.

The problem became, as Francis’ works were becoming popular, a second video series was produced by Frank Schaeffer, in collaboration with his father Francis and the then surgeon-in-chief at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, C. Everett Koop (who later became U.S. Surgeon General under Ronald Reagan), entitle “Whatever Happened to the Human Race?” This series galvanized the conservative Evangelical movement regarding the “abortion” “right to life” issue. As the more “Fundamentalist” segment of Evangelicalism (the Farwell’s and Pat Robertson’s) became receptive of Schaeffer’s highly persuasive “Biblical” stance, more ultra-conservative politically motivated religionists (Rousas John Rushdoony, Gary North, Greg Bahnsen and others) began surfacing and injecting their own formulas of  “reconstructionism” and theocracy into the now more consolidated Evangelical/Fundamentalist movement.

This “reconstructionist” – “dominion theology” perspective is now what parades itself as Christian absolutism. It is this religious-political-socio economic ideology that demonstrates itself on the streets of Washington D.C. and permeates the Republican Party. It isn’t a matter of thinking and reasoning. It is a matter of a few conservative intellectuals presuming an absolute based on a limited perspective of history and rejecting all others, and an unwillingness to consider that the church at some point may have gotten it “wrong”. It is the same lie that the Roman imperial powers of the early fourth century recognized as feasible and necessary in order to establish some form of universal control and thus manage itself and those it would rule. The church, willingly – or unwillingly – succumbing to the influence of power and wealth, and thus prostituting itself as a matter of its own security and preservation.

“God” (although I do question the religious conception) did not die with this act on the parts of those who invoke his name, but the “church” as a spiritual entity (at least to the greater degree) did.
That raises more questions than what this blog is about. This is about the Schaeffer’s and the influence they have had on contemporary Evangelicalism.

In the late eighties I began to notice that Frank Schaeffer (the son) was beginning to speak out on his own. His first works were regarding the shallowness of most “Christian” art “Addicted to Mediocrity: Contemporary Christians and the Arts”. Later his writings included more critical examinations into basic assumptions of Orthodoxy and political and economic matters (Is Capitalism Christian?, A Modest Proposal, Bad News for Modern Man: an Agenda for Christian Activism, A Time For Anger - The Myth Of Neutrality). Eventually I became aware that Frank had left the Evangelical wing of Christianity and had taken up association with the Greek Orthodox Church which had always leaned more in the direction of the “mystical” aspects of the faith. Though Greek Orthodoxy may be more open to mysticism, it is still fundamentally “Orthodox” and in my own estimation and research, less than what the “faith” was pre forth century.

So … within the “Christian” environment there is some hope that thinking minds can be heard. But I fear over all the rest of the clamor, that is a very very small chance. The difference between Frank Schaeffer’s thinking and my thinking is that Frank Schaeffer remains within the box of Orthodoxy and I have stepped out of that box. Other than that, I think we would get along pretty well.

What I have learned being online over the past two years

Okay ... this is from a journal entry I posted on another online community ... This is the other side of me that only gets let out occasionally and is under a tight rein. But I seem to be losing control ... hmmm ... yep ... cut them reins ....

Let’s clear something up right away first off ... I have actually been online and had my own web sites and webcasting projects on the Internet since 1996. Google my name and you will find it all over the place. But, two years ago I became separated and later divorced. I spare you the details. But as a newly free bachelor (once held prisoner for decades) I simply didn’t have a clue. Imagine being a MIA-POW released after thirty plus years and facing the reality of a changed world. Yeah ... there is a correlation (for you literalists out there “think metaphor”).

Now I understood the Internet. Besides musician, co-producer, audio mix-down engineer, I am also the IT guy who gets that end of it going here. But, what I had not paid a lot of attention to in all those years doing the Internet is just how much culture was evolving and becoming online savvy. I was still a product of an “off-line” culture and situations being as they were, realizing connections and relations online eventually became my umbilical cord to sanity. Now I realize there may be some who will question the sanity designation or at least my presumption to it, but as I see it, that’s your problem ... not mine.

But graduating out of the “MySpace” nursery into the “real” online world of more defined online communities and adult (not XXX) networks (well ... maybe a little of them), and not having a history of meeting people online to develop relationships, it was learn as you go. If life is a journey, well ... this side trip really was turning into “a trip”. And you really want to know something, except for the distances that separate us, and that drastically impairs the more intimate physical aspects of a relationship, but IF that is not the immediate or primary purpose to connect and develop a relationship, this can be a hell of a lot of fun.

Let’s get this perfectly clear, I LIKE SEX, but I like sex in a relationship that is substantially more than just the sex a lot more. And becoming entangled in a relationship that is primarily “sex” based personally sounds pretty friggin’ boring too me. Not that I wouldn’t, or hadn’t at some time in the past, but ladies ... I want into your heads as much as it might be perceived I might want into your pants. I hope that’s not too blunt.
As I have cruised around these sites, establishing myself here and there, I have made a fair number of friends. I mean real friends. Friends who will help out in times of need and do whatever they can to help. Including opening up their homes and giving financial aid.

What I have found is that as people establish themselves and become real online “It’s just like the real world” ... It is if you can imagine it, a networks of voluntary communities, built on a premise of similar interest’s and likes and realizing bonds of affection and relationship, transcending geopolitical spheres and proximity. I can be interested in and develop a heart connection with other human beings realizing the same human experience and sometimes speaking foreign dialects yet appreciating each other as our national politics and governments rattle swords. And I am finding we like each other.

Now it is true, that you will find as many of the empty headed rabble as you will find off line in “real life”. Which only goes to prove, life online is really NO different than in that other dimension, the misnamed and misconstrued “real” one.

But you want to know what is the best thing about all this online relationship stuff. The ladies ... And it’s not just any ladies, not what I might be limited to by going to (ugh) “church” and picking from the available stock, or cruising the bars to find what may be convenient, but the special ones. The ones that just seem to fit right. The ones that prick the minds interest and cause you to act impulsively ... a little bit out of character ... and take a chance. But not for some “quickie”, but something that can be grown, explored, experimented with. Something that keeps the interest alive.

Have you ever considered, and I write primarily to those desiring and expecting something more than “just sex” (the rest of you can quit here to avoid being offended), that as everything we perceive takes place in our minds, feelings and thought, what you feel with another communicating with them, be it via phone, or keyboard and in person, all is produced in your minds, and is equally as real in the mind. Now, I grant you, the aid of pheromones in live contact will no doubt stimulate the passions of the body and provide the opportunity to ecstasy that will most likely (at least I hope not in my lifetime) never be matched. But if relationships transcending sex is a desirable thing (not eliminating it now), what is online dating other than, chatting and conversing and writing to each other, getting into each other – deeper than into the others pants.

Now I can hear the complaints about not being able to look into each others eyes or holding hands and feeling the embrace of the others arms. I concede ... that part really sucks. But, on the other hand (and as one friend said “there’s always another hand”), I’m talking about meeting that one, or two, or half a dozen, that are out there, and their minds connect with yours, and it doesn’t take a whole lot of twisting and manipulating to make it work.

Yeah ... my situation may be minimal ... but I don’t think I’d change too much. Because I have friends, and they’re all over the world. And there are ladies who really do like me. And we enjoy each other ... and some are very special ... maybe very very special. But it will no doubt prove to be more than just sex ...
Oh ... and one more thing ... there are no rules ...the only rules that exist are those agreed upon between one and the other ... no rules ... no judgment ... But, I do recommend ladies ... play it safe ... (for some, that disclaimer is necessary)

Buzzword: Efficiency

I managed an automobile repair shop under the name of one of the major oil companies for twenty three years. It was a complex contractual arrangement but essentially, we were a branded outlet. Early to mid eighties were relatively good times. Technology was certainly complicating things, but all in all it wasn’t too bad for the auto repair industry. Though I have a few friends who might feel some offence at this statement, I regret that the overall quality of American cars produced during this era was far less than it could have been, which made the repairs side of things more regular besides more complicated.

Coming out of the eighties and into the early nineties as contracts were periodically reassessed and “upgraded” or renegotiated (a more polite way of saying get ready to be screwed) an operational word began to be hammered into the lower end managers from the big boys at the top ... you know the ones you seldom ever really have any contact with but take it upon themselves to dictate how it is that the operations of your business should be handled. And not because they have any real experience in these situations (though some may have limited experience) but rather they have studied the models and have listened to their “efficiency” experts and have determined for you what is the best way to relate to your customers without actually having a relationship with them. You see, your customers are not really their customers; your customers (that you have spent years developing a trust and rapport with) are only numbers to them. OH ... I know their rhetoric would not make it sound this way, but how many of them realize a common time invested bonding with these they would call “customers” and in many cases “friends”. I dare say ... none. My customers and my relationships, the ones coming across the driveway were only one thing to these progressively higher echelons of business administration ... numbers.

It was during this time that the need to become more efficient became the mantra of the big boys, but it was not a matter of better serving the “customer” which I had always been taught and believed was the reason for being in business, but rather to make it possible to grab a higher percentage of the gross that may be realized. Of course as more numbers of individuals were expected to now come across the drive, more profit was expected to be made, thus justifying the lower percentage a small business person could expect. But what the hell there will be more customers, and surely streamlining your operation would cut costs and make it possible not to lose the net that had been realized prior. After all, many if not most of the less efficient operations will eventually be forced out of the market driving more “customers” to the survivors.
There is a certain “limited” logic to this model. But it falls way short of what is a human model. Business ... as it has evolved in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries ... is a far cry from what Adam Smith originally perceived. To Smith, who in fact was a moralist over and above being an economist, compassion was the foundation for capitalism. I know that sounds strange to many, but a minimal amount of research will bear this out. To Smith the purpose of the market was to assess and recognize the needs and desires of a society and thereby adapt itself to meeting those needs. Thus through meeting the actual wants and wishes of society, the customer is served and a reasonable profit can be realized. Everyone is served.

Adam Smith understood that a capitalistic society could not function “as a free society” unless the compassion motive was the foundation of the system. Well ... we’ve come a long way from that baby!!!.
Over the years, and this has been a slow but progressive raising of the market temperature (I think we’re boiling now – ready for consumption) the system somewhere along the path diverged from its moral imperative (some would argue it never had one). The market no longer serves society, but the (choke) “customer” is now only another commodity in the expansive and evermore expanding dominion of corporatized culture. Business no longer serves the needs of the society, let alone the individuals that make up that society, but the smaller parts only exist to submit to and serve that economic structure that evermore demands that greater part of the gross, and as it may be allowed, ultimately devours all it can. We are told what we need, we are told what it is we want, we are psychologically probed and manipulated to believe what it is they want us to believe, not for our benefit, not to serve, but to consume, and increase the net, but not that which we may enjoy and take comfort in, but what becomes the assets of the money managers pulling the strings.

It makes little difference whether there is one corporation accomplishing this or numerous ones of varying states of economic status, the effect is all the same. Compassion and serving the needs of the “customer” ... the individual ... the persons ... which thus make up the collective society ... this is not the purpose of business .... The purpose is profit ... and the customer a commodity ... a number to be counted coming across the drive. A fast food patron sold on the benefits of convenience and imported beef products and supplemented genetically engineered veggies. A part of the herd to be channeled through the stalls of Disney World, and satisfied with the illusion of experiencing world cultures all within the few acres set aside and molded into the image deemed to illicit the most “real” (gag) pseudo-experience imaginable ... and at a healthy profit too. And it all seems so real to us ...

Is there anyone else who gets the picture? ... Is there anyone else who can expand on just what is happening? ... Or am I in my own “never-neverland?”

talikin' 'bout My Generation

I may have shared bits and pieces of this in the past, I  don’t really remember, but forty years ago tomorrow (It was August 15, 1969) I was along some county or state highway in mid state New York walking to a place that I had no idea would become legendary.

August 15, 1969, it was a Friday.  It was my 18th birthday.  My birthday present from my parents were tickets to a music and arts festival that I’m sure they never imagined would be so significant in my own life or that of my generation.  I’m sure if they’d known better I would never been given permission to go.

We’d set up our tent and left the car in some farmer’s field.  I’m walking down this highway, in the middle of a traffic jam, just following everyone in front of us.  We turn down this side road,  down the road we can see where everyone was moving more to the right and what appeared to be into the woods.  We passed a lot of porta potties and not to far past them in this clearing, just before the woods, was what appeared to be an encampment.  Walking past I noticed what looked like school buses and every sort and color and a small staging area.  I did not know at the time, but was told later that was the Grateful Deads entourage.

We passed some fences that were not fully erected, and heard somebody declaring it was now a free concert.  At this point it was pretty easy to know which direction to head to, just follow the sound of the music.  We came out of the woods along the ridge at the top of the hill.  To our right going further up the hill we could see some A frame like structures.  Directly in front of us we could see the light towers and sound booth and beyond that a large stage and one hell of a sound system.  But between that stage and to our left and to our right a sea of people that I found virtually unfathomable.  I had been to Anti-War and peace demonstrations on the Mall in Washington, DC and thought I understood what masses of people were, but this was pure fantasy.

I do not have a clue what artist was onstage, at the time I know it was some of the lighter fare.  But at this point the music really didn’t matter.  There was something bigger than the music happening.

Despite popular opinion while I was wandering around not once did I indulge in what was supposed to be ever so pervasive.  I tell you not joint one … nada … zilch.  And to tell you the truth I couldn’t tell you if anyone was trying to sell any acid or anything like that, I simply didn’t give a damn.  I didn’t f**king need anything.  Though you might ask me “are you sure you weren’t already tripped out?” You’re damn right I was tripped out, and it had nothing to do with altered states of consciousness.  The fact is something beautiful was happening and I couldn’t fully explain it, I’m not sure I can fully explain it, but I think after so many years of being separated from it and returning realizing what was missing, I am now able to recognize it.

I asked a friend if she considered herself to be a part of the Woodstock generation, she replied, “yes- i do consider myself to be of that generation but i am not so proud of it lately. it seems the generation that was going to change the world did-and not for the better. we have become a self absorbed greedy-me-me-me-i want it now generation. we have squandered a great opportunity to make the world a more generous and loving place and sadness is the outcome.” She is right.

These are my thoughts in reply “Yes "that generation" blew it. But I think some of us are coming out of it - realizing our stupidity. But I can't really hold any to blame ... there were (and are) no hard fast absolutes that could easily be taught, and I suppose each generation has to figure it out on their own. Maybe our biggest encumbrance was the megalith of the system we had to deal with, and it has certainly grown exponentially since. Yet at the same time I think some of us have matured to a point that dying for what has become our “absolute” inner sense of right and wrong is not such a bad thing, as there is in actuality no such thing as death - only transformation. They can't kill us all ... or can they? What is the nature of the battle? Are we willing to become engaged in it (you know that I do not infer any kind of violence). But what is the strength of our character as over and opposed to those who would exploit everything for their own temporal benefit?”

To be continued …

The Unthinking Man

I am regularly accused of thinking too much.  Or over-thinking certain things.  But I have no reason to apologize for my thinking.  I have no reason to apologize because I think unconventionally.  It is not a matter of “I think therefore I am”,  but rather, I am and thus I think.  I’ve been told to put away the monkey brains.  You know what I’m talking about ...  The mental capacities that have arisen and have themselves been defined as our ego personalities.  The entity that we think is us but in actuality is only the mechanics of the material infrastructure, only real on the lower planes of thought and dimension, divorced from our deeper hidden conscious being.  Now all this sounds fine at first listen, but I have not been told what to replace them with, nor has it been demonstrated to me that it is actually possible to do this.  Not on any kind of a consistent basis at least.  It would seem to be quite a simple matter to just empty one’s head and for a period of time let everything out.  And I have absolutely no doubt that many actually do this.  But I’ve yet to find even one who can do this consistently and still function and communicate in the real world, notwithstanding the virtual world.

It would seem to me that my problem with thinking is not my problem with thinking but others lack of thinking that cannot tolerate my thinking.  You see this transcends philosophy or ideologies, religion or spirituality. It is simply the nature of the lower material human being to find comfort and security in the knowledge that has been thus far attained and to measure all things by it, thus circumventing the necessity to have to do the work and actually consider new possibilities that may have previously been overlooked or sidestepped.

I do not find it necessary to apologize for the fact that I search through ancient philosophies and doctrines, mysteries and religions as I glean my way in search of what I can attest to as “my perception of the nature of reality”.  I do not presume that the Newtonian – Cartesian scientific mindset is absolute for judging the nature of what is.  Neither do I fully accept unequivocally the more modern quantum explanations as utterly sustainable.  But neither do I discount these.  They are only models.  Models do work well for a time, and are quite useful in helping us understand what it is we can understand to the extent that these can be proven true.  But like any model, the model is only valid to the degree that observation substantiates it.  The same holds true with religious mythology.  The difference being mythology should never be taken literally.  And as the mythology is only a metaphor it can be reevaluated, reinterpreted and carry its fundamental truths and multiple perceptions of truth as they relate to the human condition as we seem to be separated from that which is our innate being and connection with ourselves, our environment, and the rest of creation.

I am not so sure that modern man is the “crown of creation”.  It certainly would seem that there’s a great deal that we must remember if not altogether relearn.  It would seem to me that rather than scrapping our minds and ceasing to think it would be more to our advantage to reconsider the purpose of thinking in relation to our whole human character, and allowing that to occur in us as we, the human being, have evolved to be capable of.  That does not imply that we allow unfettered logic and reason to dominate what it is we are, neither do we allow ignorance and laziness to define what it is that is or is not acceptable thinking matter.

This I know ... “I have been told we can create our own reality” ...this I also believe. I believe it is an intrinsic innate quality that is the human being. “I have been told intention plays a great part in this” ... this I also believe. Despite and often in spite of what may appear to be temporal circumstance, I believe we – on deeper levels of consciousness are active in the creation and manifestation of our reality. Don’t ask me to prove it, I can’t, but it is something I “know”. Sure ... it is subjective. And some will choose to consider this aspect of my thinking delusional. So what? There are some who can not conceive that the process of meditation can be beneficial to “clearing out the crap that has accumulated in ones mind”. So what? There are many who have chosen to regard every possibility of psychic or ‘spiritual’ phenomena as bunk, or at the very least rooted in natural material reality. So what?

I believe I experience and realize a spiritual plane of existence that transcends the material. I normally would not speak of this openly, as our culture (though slowly progressing) simply can not handle it. But ... to one degree or another ... each and everyone of us have to relate to this lower common culture if we are to exist, let alone survive and prosper.

All I really want to do is play the stupid guitar. It doesn’t sound like to much to ask  ... a simple request. But there are a lot of things that went into learning to play that dumb inanimate configuration of, wood, brass and steel, and polymers. Many long hours of practice, playing the same riffs over and over, working past the tender fingers and cramped muscles, to reach a level of physical competence that allows me to move virtually anyplace I want to on the neck of the guitar ... “without thinking about it”.

But being able to go where I wanted to go was not a great deal of help, unless I knew where I wanted to go. So after so many years of following the chord charts of this song or that one, and haphazardly doing leads that may have been unique (but certainly were not very melodic), I decided to apply myself to understanding some music theory. This has been a long and slow process, but over the years a rather large collection of music concept has been accumulated and is both part of my mental and “real” library to be drawn on virtually at will, and as often as live interaction takes place ... on the fly ... as I choose to do it. To a degree I have reached a point that I can determine where I want to get to... and know that I have the ability to get there ... without thinking about it.

But ... for this to occur ... a lot of stuff had to be experienced first. A lot of that was mental discipline ... and a lot was purely physical training. The result is, in the appropriate environment, I can express and realize a spiritual manifestation that communicates across the barriers between the spiritual and the material. This is what artists do ...

I have found (and I speak for my own satisfaction, not anyone else’s) there are levels of human existence that some realize in differing degrees. And it would seem that the higher the level of perceived or presumed spiritual attainment (I balk here because all too many presume all too much) the more difficult it is to communicate and relate to the poor slobs down on the lower end of the ladder. Don’t ask me where I am on the ladder; I really don’t have a clue, moment to moment. I just know it seems like I’m going up and down as it suits the need.

But for me to interact and relate to the lower end, the part where I need to concern myself with eating and sleeping, and keeping off the streets, a great deal of mental acumen needs to be exercised. Not that I particularly like it, but it does seem to come with the territory. And, as much of my dream – the dream I want to realize - will be experienced down here, the tools of the dimension (my mind) have proven to be a necessary factor in working it out.

At the same time, the issues that concern the lower end reality, whereas I access a higher end vision, need to be assessed and considered in order to apply a higher level value judgment. Though some may consider this non-applicable, I have found my mind to be beneficial in understanding and applying the “more” that I “know”. Higher levels of mind express themselves no less in the material than the spiritual, but logic and reason are more often than nor requisite.

Our minds are like fine instruments. They can be learned to be used appropriately, and mastered, and produce great things. Or they can be used to churn out slop rock ... It makes no difference to the mind ... It would be just as happy doing either. Or ... with the proper work and mastery, it can produce masterpieces of insight ... transcending itself ... I think there were a few who managed it ... but I do not believe they ceased thinking ... but took it to a higher level. I’d kinda like to do that ... the same as with the guitar.

Excuse me! ... but is this the way to Bellevue?

Random Thoughts 8-04-09

There are many levels of reality. For the longest time, like the most of us, I could only perceive but one. And even in that one, that which we might have called “spiritual” is not what it was presumed to be, but only a manufactured perception of what we desire broader dimensions of reality to be. A fabricated illusion hopefully sufficient enough to contain and hold all that we find to be the mystery that transcends our one common material plane of existence. But confined as we are to the limitations of the material, perception can only be perceived as theory or speculation. Not that this is true for all, but is a common experience of all. Some, and not necessarily those who are the most imaginative or vocal, are endowed, by whatever source it may be, to see beyond the limitations of the material. And some, though anxiously desiring to see that which is the unseen, will never enter into the realms of perception transcendent to time and space, as their material mental capacities are so centered on the egoic conceptions held in their minds.

I am an “alpha male”. But that is a naturalistic designation, deduced through the scientific study and observations within the dimension of material reality. But this is only a partial truth. For two alpha males to coexist a deeper relational experience needs to be realized. To live and function in relatively close proximity together, a lower level standard of rules and obligations can be established, one may voluntarily regress in their nature and submit to the other, or a higher level or dimension of experience can be entertained, entered into and experienced. This is no easy task, and depending on the lower level natures of the two may take some relative drastic reassessment of what it is to be “human” in relation to other humans. By “human” I mean more than that part of us that is the “animal” – the beast at the top of the food chain. I believe regardless of the lower level deficiencies and impediments that may be our material nature – the transcendent “human” nature that does reside in all humanity can surmount these and rise to a higher level of existence and relationship. Will we? … I mean the human race? I believe it is possible. But not as long as we stubbornly try to retain archaic and limited perceptions of truth as have been handed down to us and disseminated throughout human conscious thought without critically appraising what it is we believe. Change is threatening. And those dominating the lower level arena of commonly held perception will not find rising to higher levels to their advantage. Rising to higher levels of being implies an acceptance of egalitarianism that places perceived lower level “inferiors” on an equal level, or is perceived as lowering ones own elevated “lower level” status. Is it any wonder that the “unspiritual will persecute the spiritual”? Or … “except a man be ‘born again’ he cannot enter into the Kingdom of Heaven”?

Do not confuse these normally spouted Biblical concepts as the same as the usual Evangelical Fundamentalist dribble that they have been associated with. There is NO connection … But there is spiritual truth … and it is not conventional religious “Christian” truth. It is truth transcending the religious literalism that would button-hole humanity into an empty and dead spiritual illusion, designed and propagated to keep the “human” from experiencing the full potential of that humanity, and maintains a religious hierarchy and order that serves the political and economic masters intent on controlling the masses. Religion equals control … Spirituality is freedom. But it is not the “freedom” defined by the managers of the world systems. It is the freedom to be who you are … regardless of the system that wishes to define, manage and dominate what it is you are.

We are held captive by our fears. And if our own immediate personal fears should prove to be insufficient to cause us to voluntarily acquiesce to the “authority” that is presumed to safe guard our ”freedom”, we can be sure that new reasons to fear will be created and manufactured for us in order to manipulate the collective consciousness of humankind and drive us, as the herd, into pens and corrals to be counted and made the commodified property of the Wal-Marts and Disney Worlds, and the cannon fodder for Halliburton and all the rest.

My humanity is more than this. And I ask myself … “How should I then live?” … I can’t go back … nor do I want to.

JUST PRETEND

“Just pretend, and after a while it will happen” …

Sound childish? … OR … “childlike”?

Some would ask “What’s the difference?”

OH … the difference is vast ….

Anything that has ever been created started with an idea … that became a dream … and then a vision … and then was “played” around with … and ultimately “happened” – manifested. Any skill that has ever been developed – first was the immaterial conception of someone who “knew” that it could ultimately be realized. Sometimes it’s our parents that instill these in us – sometimes it is mentors of many sorts. Eventually some begin to exercise their own free thinking and volition to play their way into a realm of reality.

The world is not fair … No shit Sherlock … But there is little use in bitching about it. Ultimately … it isn’t going to change. Because there will always be limited – little minded people who cannot see or think beyond the current circumstances. And as much as they may hold and espouse noble and high ideals of the way it can be and should be it is their failure to accept the fact that human nature eventually reduces to the lowest common denominator and “noble ideas” eventually become misplaced – displaced – forgotten. Because ideas are intangible, and the intangible takes place in the minds eye – before it can ever be realized or materially experienced. Something has to happen that calls that which is not - into existence. Few do this … except as it pertains to the absolute immediate … survival needs. But it doesn’t have to be so … If we learn to play again … pretend … fake it ‘til you make it … what some call miracles … often can and do happen.

Fuck the “real world” … I’m creating my own …

But you can live your life the way you want to …

Art ... seldom ... just happens ...

Art ... seldom ... just happens ... it takes work ... thinking ... experimenting ... applying skills and intuition ... but always having a vision or sense of what makes something complete ... so you rethink ... and try some new approaches ... play with the parts - to mold each one ... and sometimes scrap the the whole god damn thing ... And sometimes there is the ability to raise the dead ... So you re-think - redo - and don't make excuses for playing dead ... unless of course ... you really are ...

Ed [SonXpro] transferring MIDI files from keyboard to Bob's Editing Suite.

Bob C, at work on 18 Again, May 6, 2009

This is my witches cauldron ... some might think of it as my playground ... same thing ...

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7581226

We are an independent recording studio with eclectic interests. Two musicians with eighty-five years collective music experience, and networking with other musicians and artists around the world, developing our own creations and enhancing those of others. We are creating our own reality and proving that dreams do come true - if you want them, move towards them and provide the environment for it to happen.

I’m Off To See The Wizard …

I have many unconventional ideas about what eventually becomes the measure for success and how I hope to achieve it. I’m a dreamer who lives in a world, that despite what might be propagated dogma, does everything it can to extinguish and kill, and if it cannot do that, manipulate and control the dreams visions and passions of the human spirit. In my own life I have not learned how to quit. How does one simply drop or walk away from, what is the most intrinsically invested part of one’s nature? For me this is the talent and music I have applied myself to my entire life. At a particular time that meant leaving full time employment to follow my dream. It eventually led to divorce and estrangement from family. As situations changed, it meant traveling across country to experiment the possibilities in a metal band out of Seattle. Things not working out there I returned back east to keep a roof over my head. Unfortunately, we officially were experiencing a recession (I personally believe it is a depression) and there was no work to be had. So I applied myself to that which I knew – my music and expanding my own intellectual horizons. For over a year I wrote and recorded music, played at a local bluegrass jam on Friday nights, and was essentially alone in my cave. I sold off equipment to survive through the fall and winter. Eventually, even though I had the equipment up for sale, the good stuff had already been sold and there was little interest in the rest. Time and money ran out – debts had already gone through the roof—and I’m sure there are probably a few judgments against me because of my inability to pay. I stopped worrying about that a long time ago. If it isn’t there, it isn’t there, and there is no debtors prison.

It reached a point I had to move, but I had no money, had no place to go. All I had was some books, a guitar, my computers, some recording equipment and a few other odds and ends that I could fit into my pickup truck. A few friends sent me some money to help as they could, I sold some microphones and stands and that was enough to get me on the road. Via the Internet I have another musician friend who had been setting up a home recording studio over the years, some of you know who he is – “sonxpro” – Ed Talbot. He has welcomed me into his home and our intention is to see what we can create and produce.

One of the first manifestations of the transformation of my thinking occurred about four years back and I simply began to take the Biblical admonition of Christ “not too worry” for exactly what it meant – and I stopped worrying. Of course this sent the world around me into a tizzy, and I cannot say there have not been times that I had not worried. Things got ugly. But my mind remained focused – and it’s still is. And in my new situation (as insecure or as some may choose to perceive it) is quite comfortable. I have a room to myself, broadband Internet, three acres that I will help take care of, food to eat, a musician to collaborate with, and the studio to work out all the nitty gritty. I can claim ownership to nothing except a few meager possessions. But I have my freedom and enough talent and smarts to begin to make it work. I am in a situation where I have never had less control over my life, yet at the very same time have never been so empowered to do with my life what I have hoped and dreamed for.

If I did not believe following my dream and applying myself actually will manifest its own reward in its time – what is the reason for living? I don’t believe we’re here only to take up space – that we are to use the space – sometimes that is simply a matter of being, in making the best advantage of whatever it is. When I was in Gettysburg I made the best of that space. I’m now in Foster Rhode Island and I am in a space that provides me better opportunity. Regardless of the means for the crisis that led to stepping into this situation – this is now my situation. And it is a step in the right direction.

I’ve learned that going with the flow, the natural course of events, and being bold are not antithetical. Timidity is not a virtue. In some instances it may evoke a certain maternal caring, but that is not something that is based on the strength of character but rather a fear to engage. I must admit I had lived that timid life for too long. Our understanding of humility is in great need of reassessment. I dealt with that a few years back also. So I am bold with my dreams, and I am bold with what I know I am capable of.

On a practical level, Ed and I find our abilities compliment each other’s. I am more computer oriented and Ed is more recoding hardware oriented. Ed runs the connections and I make sure the network does what it is supposed to do. We both understand what the possibilities are, and progressively reveal themselves to be, and individually we recognize how we fit into the scheme of things. I believe a partnership is evolving – without contracts or legal binding – but a spiritual recognition of things being in the right place at the right time. Many I know cannot conceive of such. All I can say is – pay attention – I believe a more ancient and natural way of “doing business” and relating is happening. Some might call it being “in the spirit” or “being attuned to the universe” – it doesn’t matter – it’s all the same. Two “artists” – and I am discovering an online community of artists – are beginning to do what comes natural to them.

I won’t go into the details of life here right now. That is not important. And I’m sure I will share more as time goes on. But I am finding – piece by piece – it does appear that it is possible that dreams can come true. But in order for that too happen – one must first “dream”, and then move in the direction of that dream, and maybe experience a few crisis along the way that might turn your world upside down. But as long as one does not let “them” steal your dream, there may be more than just a chance that “god” or “Tinkerbelle” or “the Good Witch of the North” may sprinkle some fairy dust to get you to that Emerald City. But clinging to security blankets does not help one iota in growing into what the human mind can conceive and realize.

At least – that’s how I’m seeing things.

Why?

Why? 

One of the things that is really great about the Internet is that it affords a common avenue and accessibility to a wealth of information and knowledge that would otherwise only be available to privileged classes.  By “privileged classes” I do not necessarily mean those who are so far up on the social totem as to be considered elitist but rather those fortunate enough to have received the benefit of “good” counseling and guidance to set them on the path of continual learning and advancement.  Not all of humankind is so encouraged and for whatever reasons be they rebellious nature’s or unconcerned and/or disinterested teachers and mentors, the mass of humanity plods along accepting whatever is plopped on their plate as being the gospel – the absolute of “what is”.  But not so no more “if” one is so inclined to seek out for themselves what they know they are lacking, and so come to a better understanding and knowledge of the truth that had been denied them and/or distorted to such a degree as to make it intellectually and spiritually indigestible. 

We live in a world that is not of our own making that is rather the product of thousands of years of creation, recreation and manipulation of those that have gone before us.  There are many who believe (and I cannot totally disclaim this) that we are recycled through this reality learning the lessons from one life to the next, cursed to relive prior experience until we eventually figure it out or “get it right”.  I reserve my right to consider or reject this notion – in my own mind the jury is not in.  But regardless of what may or may not be reincarnated the world we inhabit exists and the product of millenia of perversion for the sake of the gratification of the few.  Our religions are not immune to these perversions and manipulations.  And in the wake of their grounding and growing and domination of the minds and consciences of the masses they would influence and guide a legacy is created that enslaves what should be the  “free thinking spirits” of that which is the human species. 

I believe in a divine impetus that resides in the nature of the human.  Some don’t – that’s their own business – I don’t try to convince them of anything.  Theirs is to look inside themselves and live based on what they find there accordingly.  But there are some who realize there’s more than the crap that is dished out to us and desire to find their path to understanding what that is.  This is a journey inside – into the caverns of our minds – into the depths of our being – in the hopes of finding and realizing some “truth” – some vestige of “good” that makes sense – and transcends the ever so pervasive “bull shit” that we’re unceasingly bombarded with either through “the tube”, the media, politicians, religious zealots, viagra commercials, empty  rhetoric, economic illusions, and whatever else can twist the conscience of humanity. 

There’s not a discipline “under the sun” that is not subject to some form of “political correctness”.  Science is every bit as dogmatic as the religion it divorced itself from 400 years ago.  Within every discipline there’s a mindset or vein of thought that is the “accepted” and to diverge from these parameters sets oneself up as a target for ostracizing.  To find ones way outside of the “accepted” channels of recognition, or submission to the recognized powers that be, virtually ensures rejection and at the very least renders one subject to the contempt of the “lesser” though acknowledged hierophants. 
Gerald Massey (1828-1907) is such whose impetus to transcend the mundane accepted definitions and dogma of this era, has left us with a legacy that might be considered “the shoulders of giants” that those following can stand on.  I suppose he might be considered an enigma.  He was an English poet and self-taught Egyptologist. His parents were poor and as a child he was made to work in a silk factory and later took up straw plaiting.  He educated himself in his spare time gradually cultivating a taste for literary work.  He became a poet, publishing several works, and also published works on spiritualism and studies of Shakespeare’s sonnets.  “In regards to Egyptology, Massey first published The Book of the Beginnings, followed by The Natural Genesis. His most prolific work is Ancient Egypt: The Light of the World, published shortly before his death His work, which draws comparisons between the Judeo-Christian religion and the Egyptian religion, is largely unrecognised in the field of modern Egyptology and is not mentioned in the Oxford Encyclopedia of Ancient Egypt or any other work of modern Egyptology.”

As I speak of Massey as an “enigma” “…although he might have been considered a Christian Socialist, was in actuality a practicing druid, presumably a neo-druid. Not only that, Massey was elected Chosen Chief of the Most Ancient Order of Druids from 1880 through 1906”. This is in stark contrast as a friend and colleague “praised him for having thrown off the constraints of religion in favor of science and philosophy for the advancement of knowledge.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald_Massey

Today, in our contemporary world there are many researchers who follow a path similar to that of Gerald Massey.  Much of their work is not recognized by the established academic/scientific/religious communities as it stands in such sharp contrast to what has become the accepted “dogma” of accepted truth.  Much of this “dogma” is both religiously and politically motivated.  There’s a great deal that archaeologists and researchers have been digging up, and answers to questions long held becoming realized.  But because these answers do not fit into the accepted “religious” and “political” paradigms of the powers that be and would virtually turn the academic world upside down – thus dismantling the reputations of those at the top of the pyramid.  Of course this kind of truth is not limited to the disciplines of spiritual studies and archaeology, science and the such – this is the way of the world. Those that are in control will do whatever is necessary to stay in control – and the rest be damned.  For those who are not knowledgeable in might be well to do some research on “Nikola Tesla and JP Morgan” and better understand the ways of the world.

We have a concept of the history of the world or should I say the history of “civilization” that extends back some 6000 years to generally the time of 4000 BC.  We are taught that essentially around  this period – this is where it all began.  But I don’t think there are very many of us who really buy it. And that probably is for very good reason.  The three major religions of Christianity, Judaism and Islam all date the beginnings of the history of mankind to this 4000 BC timeframe.  Each of these religions has a vested interest in this “creation” perspective in order to maintain a dogmatic foundation upon which the entire premise of their “truth” exists.  We can’t buy it because resident in us – in that thing we call consciousness – it simply doesn’t square.  It Has been said “it takes one to know one”. Many of us as we mature have been shoveled a lot of “bull shit”. And most would probably not like to have themselves numbered among the “bull shit artists”, yet we have acquired a knowledge of enough of it to recognize it when it is spewed our way.  At the same time when rational and reasonable evidence and facts are presented to us our innate human ability to discern and judge can be called upon to either accept or reject whatever it is that does or does not make sense to us.  But this is not the way of “religion”.  Religion finds its power and authority in un-reasoned acceptance of less than substantiated dogma. 

There have always been arguments concerning the “objective” and “subjective” nature’s of what might be regarded as “evidence”.  I personally believe – but more than believe – “know” – there are subjective dimensions to knowledge and understanding to be realized in the human character.  As long as this “knowledge” remains a matter of my subjective experience – as regards relating it to anyone else – it doesn’t mean “diddly squat”.  I can talk about it until my face turns blue and it will mean absolutely nothing.  Until the one being communicated to actually realizes that “experience” for themselves. And what is it that allows one to experience this “inmateness”  and another not to?  Theories abound and I don’t think it is any one thing.  Natural predisposition I’m certainly sure accounts were much (some might call that divine choosing, I’m not sure I’d go that far), educational and environmental factors to no doubt come into play, being pushed to an edge where there’s seemingly no other choice, and the degree of our indoctrination and assimilation of what we have been taught as absolute.  Absolutes potentially being either  religious or scientific, in some respects content of the dogma doesn’t matter -- the fact that dogma is dogma establishes its own parameters.

Realizing that much that I had been taught and living was only so much “bull shit” my curse  has been that I cannot stop digging until I get closer to something that is more than the said bovine matter. 

Most of my peers had not lived religiously defined the lives.  Yet that is not entirely true.  The difference to a great degree is that I studied and sought to understand the intricacies of what established and defined that life.  This is something that even those within the religious community neglect or care little for.  For the most part their religion is a matter of doing what we’re told , obeying a few obvious commands and let the pastors and priests deal with the rest.  And this is exactly what most of the clergy would desire.  Of course I know there are exceptions, but as a general fact, there’s little desire to actually see spiritual growth and development accomplished in the lives of the congregation as such will naturally lead to an independence of thought and action.  And this – as far as the “religionists” is concerned – is a dangerous thing.  But the acquisition of dogma and doctrine is quite acceptable as long as it remains unquestioned.  At some point: I became dangerous.  I kid you not – in the fall of 2004 a minister actually said that to me regarding some of the essays I was producing at the time. 

That seems like a long time ago.  Since then a lot has changed – not necessarily of my choosing – but I do not know what could have been done differently.  Oh I know things could have been done differently  -- but could they have been done differently and could I still have acted with integrity regarding to the truth as it was beginning to emerge in my own understanding and being? I don’t think so.  And at least it is never been demonstrated or proved to me. 

I am beginning to understand there are many who have come before me who have wrestled  with many of the same questions and yet did not succumb to the pressures of the status quo. Regarding religion and the responsibility of those who teach it Gerald Massey expressed a truth quite eloquently answering my question “Why?”:

If the teachers of the fleshly cult could but see how their fallacies dissolve in death—how the false ideal set up in this life dislimns and fades as the terrible light of reality whitens in the next; if they could but see that mournful multitude of the helplessly deceived who staked their all upon the truth of what they had been taught and find they have lost because the teaching was false! If you could see them wander up and down on the other side of the dark river and wring their hands over their blighted hopes and broken hearts; hear the pitiful wailings for the Christ that is no more objective there than he was here—for the visionary glory that they may not grasp, the distant rainbows, never reached, that weep themselves away in tears—for the lifeboat gone to wreck on the wrong shore because of the false beacon-lights. If you could only dream how these poor souls desire to have the deception made known on this side of life—how they want to send some word of warning to their friends—how they will almost hiss at me through the mouths of mediums whenever they have the chance, as if their fierce feelings had turned into tongues of flame, praying for us to work on faster and cry louder against the established lie, for time is getting short and the helpers are few, and the atmosphere around each live soul is so deathly dense with indifference! This would be unbearable but for those calm other voices of the Gnostics who in this life walked our world lords of themselves with “inward glory crowned,” and who lived on after the Gnosis was suppressed and the ancient oracles made dumb—who live on yet, and are working with us still— who fill and inflate us at times with their influence, as if each single soul of us were a hundred thousand (“cent mille,” as his men used to call Napoleon). It is they who are joining hands with us to-day to bridge over that dark gulf betwixt two worlds which the historic and fleshly faith first excavated, and has been deepening and widening now for eighteen centuries. This is the Resurrection Day of the pre-Christian Gnosticism, as shown by the recent revival of Spiritualism, by the restoration of the Tree of Knowledge, by the elevation of Womankind, instead of the Fall of man; and we are living witnesses of the fact that
“Truth, crushed to earth, shall rise again,
The eternal years of God are hers;
But Error, wounded, writhes with pain,
And dies among his worshippers!”

And again:

The same correspondent desires to know whether I would exclude the Bible from our children’s schools. Most certainly. I would have the Bible-basis superseded for all future teaching as unscientific, immoral, and false to the facts in nature. The mass of people who are Bible-taught never get free from the erroneous impressions stamped on their minds in their infancy, so that their manhood or womanhood can have no intellectual fulfilment, and millions of them only attain mentally to a sort of second childhood.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/67690444/GeraldMassey-Lectures

Patriots … so called …”by jingo!”

Patriots … so called …”by jingo!”

Confusion of Concepts: patriotism, nationalism, chauvinism, and jingoism – The American national religion

 

What is a patriot? And what is patriotism?

“Jennifer Fackler, whose husband soon will be deployed to Iraq for the fifth time, says, ‘Patriotism means sacrifice; it means I put our child to bed at night alone; it means I spend sleepless nights by the phone.’”[1]

"…those goose bumps that you get on your arms during a flag ceremony." … “patriotism is honoring "the brave men and women who represent our country in the military while expressing our right to object to this war."[2]

“Patriotism is loving your country. Patriotism is standing when the national anthem plays. Patriotism is putting your hand on your heart to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.”[3]

“…Patriotism means, to me, celebrating the freedoms we have. Shedding a tear when I hear the national anthem is sung or when I sing it myself. I supported my husband as he served in the U.S. Air Force for eight of his 11 years. Patriotism then was hanging yellow ribbons on my trees while I waited for him to come home.”[4]

“Patriotism is not something that can be described in one word, one sentence or one paragraph. It can be described in that one moment. You know what that one moment is.”[5]

“To me, true patriotism is staying faithful to our Founding Fathers' dream: that all men are created equal. That governments should have checks and balances provided by the three branches of government -- legislative, judicial and the president. That there should be no taxation without representation. That there should be a separation of church and state. Free speech and the pursuit of happiness.”[6]

“What is patriotism? For me and my family patriotism mean sacrifice; it means I put our child to bed at night alone; it means I spend sleepless nights by the phone and I wait for letters or e-mails to tell me he is OK. Our story is not unique. We are an Air Force family, and we understand the importance of the work our military does for the world. The legacy we are leaving behind for our children is that "freedom isn't free"; it has been paid for with blood, sweat and many, many tears. As my husband prepares to deploy again next month (for the fifth time), my daughter and I will be here at home serving right along side other brave spouses and their children, because a family that waits also serves.”[7]

But is this “patriotism”? “sacrifice”… “goose bumps” … “honoring the brave men and women who represent our country in the military” … “is loving your country. Patriotism is standing when the national anthem plays… putting your hand on your heart to recite the Pledge of Allegiance.” … “celebrating the freedoms we have. Shedding a tear when I hear the national anthem is sung … hanging yellow ribbons on my trees” … “It can be described in that one moment. You know what that one moment is.” … “patriotism is staying faithful to our Founding Fathers' dream” … “patriotism mean sacrifice … The legacy … that "freedom isn't free"; it has been paid for with blood, sweat and many, many tears.”

A “country” has evolved. A political state. As I am writing this I will not refer to the United States of America as a “nation”. We are not a “nation”. As a country we are a conglomeration of many nationalities and within our borders there are people of many nations. Some of which had been conquered and subjugated to the will and authority of the dominant nationalities, some of which had been historically enslaved, and still more which had been treated and tolerated as second class citizens. But we are not “one nation under god”.

The idea of the “nation-state” is a relatively new concept. The reality is in this world there are actually very few true “nation-states”. We take a look at a world map and we see the various countries as they are currently delineated and we assume that within these borders peoples of essentially the same ethnicity, background and common social history defines what these “nations” are. But the fact is that what we assume here as “nations” are political states, but they are not “nation states”. Yet the idea of “nationhood” or “national identity” is a premise that the governmental powers would wish to instill into their collective people’s. But a more accurate assessment of what is attempted is in reality “indoctrination”.

Consider Great Britain. There’s not actually one country here, but there are several. England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland. Country’s within a country. Even as we consider who are the English, and I’m sure some of my English and British friends will be correcting me here, there were originally the British and the Celts who were later forced to relocate as they were invaded and conquered by the Angles and the Saxons. And eventually the Anglo-Saxons were dominated by the invading Norman’s. But each of these people’s is a nation unto themselves. As a people group there existed a “national identity” which made one different than an other. Nationality was not a matter of choice that was a matter of what you were born into, your lineage, your ethnic heritage. And though I’ve never lived in England I know for fact that now resides a large population of other national ethnic and religious heritages then that other historically “British”.

The same essential truth is repeated all over Europe, throughout Asia, South America, North America, Africa and Australia. With very little exception there does not exist a country that truly exhibits a purely “nation – state identity”. Japan comes close. North Korea may be one where this is true. There are a few very small provinces in Europe that have been able to maintain their national state identity. But the reality is not just America, but the entire world, is a giant mixing bowl of nationalities. And political boundaries, the territories governed by the current holders of power, may well define what the political state is, but are not the holders and definers of national identity.

The premise has been put forth that here in the United States America: “…true patriotism is staying faithful to our Founding Fathers' dream: that all men are created equal. That governments should have checks and balances provided by the three branches of government -- legislative, judicial and the president. That there should be no taxation without representation. That there should be a separation of church and state. Free speech and the pursuit of happiness.”

But what was “… our Founding Fathers' dream?” At the time of the American Revolution slavery was dominant in the south. And when the constitution was written a slave was only afforded the status of two thirds a human being. Not too much equal there. The checks and balances of the three branches of government were not even imagined at the time of the revolution. There was no United States Constitution that any “patriot” could swear to uphold. At most a very loose “confederation” of states was agreed to, but there really was no “united states”. There were independent states joining together for purposes of their own mutual benefit, but there was no “union” or single “national identity”. Within the colony’s there were British (including English, Scotts and Irish), Germans, French, Polish, Jews and I would imagine others of European descent, and there were the Native Americans and the Africans. There were numerous national identities within each colony. Obviously the British or “English” were most dominant and it is from English common law that most political theory emerged. But it was not all the influence of British Puritanism. Among the “gentry” Enlightenment ideas were prevailing and becoming the benchmarks of what was to be set upon.

“…patriotism is used in certain vernaculars as a synonym for nationalism; nationalism is not considered an inherent part of patriotism … During the 18th century Age of Enlightenment, the notion of patriotism continued to be separate from the notion of nationalism. Instead, patriotism was defined as devotion to humanity and beneficence. For example, providing charity, criticizing slavery, and denouncing excessive penal laws were all considered patriotic.” [8]

“The heights of popularity and patriotism are still the beaten road to power and tyranny; flattery to treachery; standing armies to arbitrary government; and the glory of God to the temporal interest of the clergy.” David Hume

"The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from the (federal) government." Thomas Paine

"Guard against the postures of pretended patriotism." George Washington

“I do not mean to exclude altogether the idea of patriotism. I know it exists, and I know it has done much in the present contest. But I will venture to assert, that a great and lasting war can never be supported on this principle alone. It must be aided by a prospect of interest, or some reward.” George Washington

“There are two visions of America. One precedes our founding fathers and finds its roots in the harshness of our puritan past. It is very suspicious of freedom, uncomfortable with diversity, hostile to science, unfriendly to reason, contemptuous of personal autonomy. It sees America as a religious nation. It views patriotism as allegiance to God. It secretly adores coercion and conformity. Despite our constitution, despite the legacy of the Enlightenment, it appeals to millions of Americans and threatens our freedom.

“The other vision finds its roots in the spirit of our founding revolution and in the leaders of this nation who embraced the age of reason. It loves freedom, encourages diversity, embraces science and affirms the dignity and rights of every individual. It sees America as a moral nation, neither completely religious nor completely secular. It defines patriotism as love of country and of the people who make it strong. It defends all citizens against unjust coercion and irrational conformity.

“This second vision is our vision. It is the vision of a free society. We must be bold enough to proclaim it and strong enough to defend it against all its enemies.” Rabbi Sherwin Wine

In the nineteenth century concepts of nationhood and patriotism began to change. This was largely due to changes that were occurring throughout Europe and North America and the growing industrialization of the world markets and economy. The earlier concepts of the nation as culturally and technically derived was progressively abandoned and a more political conception adopted as it could be imposed by the prevailing majority within various geographic regions. The nation’s as we now know them were beginning to evolve and emerge. This was primarily for the purpose of governing and controlling commerce. This was the beginning of the age of imperialism on the grand scale. Virtually all European nations would make their mark on lesser developed, resource rich and politically unstable nations. Initially America was not a part of this until the Spanish American war in 1898. Although during the westward expansion of the eighteen thirties and forties and fifties war with Mexico was initiated to annex the southwestern territories of what is now the states of new Mexico Arizona Colorado Utah Nevada and California. This time in our history was referred to as our “Manifest Destiny”.

“Manifest Destiny” is essentially a secularized national vision of the divine purpose entrusted to us the American people by God, as it was formerly understood by the Puritans as their calling of God to inhabit the new Promised Land and expel the Canaanites (Native Americans) and build the New Jerusalem, the city set on a hill. The Mormons as they moved west also held the same religious vision to “conquer and civilize”.

“Many contemporary notions of patriotism are influenced by 19th century ideas about nationalism. During the 19th century, "being patriotic" became increasingly conflated with nationalism, and even jingoism.” [9] “Jingoism noun EXTREME PATRIOTISM, chauvinism, extreme nationalism, xenophobia; hawkishness, militarism, belligerence, bellicosity.”[10] This term “jingoism” was first used in Britain around 1870 to express a pugnacious attitude towards Russia. It later found its way into the United States around the turn of the century and journalist referred to this attitude as “spread eagalism”, referring to the U.S. bald eagle spreading its wings over a 10,000 mile area of the globe. “Jingoism” refers to a line in a British drinking song in pubs during the time of the Turko-Russian war:

We don't want to fight but by Jingo if we do
We've got the ships, we've got the men, we've got the money too
We've fought the Bear before, and while we're Britons true
The Russians shall not have Constantinople.

The phrase “by Jingo” actually means “by Jesus”.

Patriotism has been reduced to chauvinism. “Chauvinism is extreme and unreasoning partisanship on behalf of a group to which one belongs, especially when the partisanship includes malice and hatred towards a rival group.”

“In "Imperialism, Nationalism, Chauvinism", in The Review of Politics 7.4, (October 1945), p. 457, Hannah Arendt describes the concept:

“Chauvinism is an almost natural product of the national concept insofar as it springs directly from the old idea of the "national mission." ... (A) nation's mission might be interpreted precisely as bringing its light to other, less fortunate peoples that, for whatever reason, have miraculously been left by history without a national mission. As long as this concept did not develop into the ideology of chauvinism and remained in the rather vague realm of national or even nationalistic pride, it frequently resulted in a high sense of responsibility for the welfare of backward peoples.”[11]

And the contemporary concept of patriotism in America has evolved into the new (and not so new) religious expression of American nationalism, militarism and corporate imperialism. “God”, for most practical purposes is irrelevant, as secularized polity can find the concept inhibiting , but where useful the Christian god , the Jewish god or whatever god is most convenient can and will be called upon . It’s all a matter of properly gauging the audience or constituents one is addressing at the time. God is not the center of this religion, but rather the “democratic ideals” those being led can be assured are the purpose to participate in what might otherwise be an obvious contradiction to their religious (not national) duty, not to mention reasonable minds. God, or whatever it is that may be construed as god, has become subjugated to whatever it is that has been deemed the national priority. Such a “god” as Nietzsche observed is “dead”. Or as I personally consider, “we have become dead to god”. It all amounts to the same thing.

But as long as we can hold our allusions we will continue to invoke our “deity” and wave our flags and march in our parades and bury our dead. And damn the rest we can’t see… by jingo!

Mark Twain wrote: "When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victory – must follow it, cannot help but follow it. Upon the listening spirit of God the Father fell also the unspoken part of the prayer. He commandeth me to put it into words. Listen!

“'O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle – be Thou near them! With them – in spirit – we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with hurricanes of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with their little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it – for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.'”

Is patriotism our new “racism”? A racism that we can all participate in regardless of our “race”? A racism that is not based on pigmentation or ethnicity or economic social status, but our need to find an “other” on which to cast all our sins. Our national scapegoat(s).

“How you can win the population for war: At first, the statesman will invent cheap lying, that impute the guilt of the attacked nation, and each person will be happy over this deceit, that calm the conscience. It will study it detailed and refuse to test arguments of the other opinion. So he will convince step for step even therefrom that the war is just and thank God, that he, after this process of grotesque even deceit, can sleep better.” Mark Twain

“Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.” Hermann Goering

What is the difference between elevating "your" people or lowering their opinions of the "other" peoples? Nothing.

“It appears it has always been the fashion to degrade your neighbor. It is the herd mentality I suppose to put people into groups and tally their differences and weaknesses rather than related qualities. Human beings so love to categorize, and thus racism was born…Americans are no exception to the rule. In this time of uncertainty (when have the times ever been certain?) and true barbarism, we have alienated one country at least on the one hand, and denigrated and vilified an entire culture on the other … America has no monopoly upon these (Liberty, Justice, Freedom, etc) ideals. They are the common property of all mankind yet Americans would have you believe these words did not exist until they had the world's first and only revolution and wrote the world's first and only constitution. It might irritate them to learn that a little less than four hundred years ago the English had their own revolution against monarchy, and even more surprised to find that Americans didn't even invent Democracy … And if they catch your drift but still protest, saying that all of this may be so but the founding of America was sanctioned by the Divine and is greater than all these since it is imbued with a greater destiny, we might as well sigh and ring our hands at the hope of reasoning with fanaticism. It might be remembered that Rome two thousand years ago and even closer in time, the Soviet Union, believed as much about them selves and fabricated legendary mythologies to legitimize their claims…. At its heart, patriotism is little more than a disguised form of racism in a socially palatable form. It is politically incorrect to declare racial superiority, but the pride of Nationalism is perfectly acceptable. The former threatens the social order, the latter galvanizes it; it gives the whole society a focus for their hate, an emotion, which we are often told is wrong but only for those who are close at hand never at a distance…. It is not in the interests of governments and corporations to have people just willy-nilly expressing freedom from fear and hate, for then, what need do we have for a government to protect us, or for corporations to supply us with luxuries to entertain us in our bunkers. Better to keep us apart and in our separate boxes - divide and conquer.” [12]

So what is the nature of our “patriotism”? What are we really loyal too? Is it the system? Is it the politicians? Is it a constitution that did not exist when the word patriot was first acquisition as a banner to separate the sheep from the goats? Is it our economic ideology? And if it is an economic system why is that system not outlined in the constitution? Why is it that the economic system would be even more separated from our national trust (except as it may exert economic control over the system) then the concept of the separation of church and state? What is the difference between religious domination and economic domination? Who are the priests of this economy? Have we in fact been duped into worshiping new idols?

It needs to be understood, and with a little bit of investigation and research information can be gathered it is public domain, that most of the wars that have been fought, and I speak particularly of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries global wars were for economic gain in control, and even as “nations” presumed to remain neutral and out of the conflict, they were eventually sucked in, only to become all the more entangled and a greater part of the world reality that was evolving. As noble as the words of many of our leaders have been, their words and their sentiments were not the directing force to manage what they’d never had control of. There’s a time when noble words and sentiments as well intentioned as they are, and preferable the ideals, these become the smokescreen to blind the eyes of people’s desperate for hope. Not that their words should not be expressed or held in esteem, but to fail to deal with the underlying reality, preferring to pretend that it does not exist, or it really is the best alternative or there are no other choices – dooms the future of humanity to an ever increasing state of slavery.

We live under the illusion that we have a democratic Republic. That is only partly true. But what is closer to the truth is that we live under a corporatized Republic. Elections and representatives are ultimately bought and sold. And even as individuals may manage to remain “clean”, the system has been bought multiple times over. The sum of all the parts is such that the machine has a life of its own. And the only thing bigger than the machine itself is the financial system that feeds it and ultimately reaps from it.

In our current economic situation many would look at the Chinese and blame them. They seem to be the ones from whom our government will be borrowing the trillions to keep our economy and the system afloat, they are the ones getting all the manufacturing jobs, it would only say natural, it’s the fault of the Chinese. So we have a ready made national and ethnic group that we can vent on and if we’re lucky we can get to drop the big one. Besides defaulting on all those loans. But what we fail to see is that it’s not the Chinese, it’s not the Iraqis, the Afghans, or the Taliban, or Al-Qaida, it’s our own greed and desire for more. And because we somehow think that we deserve or can get the “more” we permit a system to flourish that is based on nothing else other than the love of money, and the power that can be realized through that.

In 44 BC Julius Caesar was assassinated. Caesar had risen to power due to his popularity with the masses. He had been a successful Roman general, conquered new territories and brought new wealth into the Republic. He survived a civil war and was eventually made dictator for life. That did not give him all power and control, but he was essentially only one step from being declared emperor. A number of senators, some would say out of jealousy, others would argue for the sake of patriotism, feared what they were sure would eventually occur and plotted to assassinate Caesar. On the Ides’ of March, March 15, ’44 BC, they assassinated Caesar in the senate chambers. There were an estimated 60 senators who may have had knowledge of the plot or were intimately involved, but it was Caesars closest associates including one Brutus, a friend, who actually carried out the deed. Over the next few years Rome was plunged into another civil war, the conspirators were killed as well as many in their armies.

Were the conspirators who plotted and assassinated Julius Caesar traitors or patriots? What decides to question? For a time Anthony and Octavian were allies as they hunted and fought the conspirators. Anthony and Cleopatra wanted to rule Rome from Egypt. Eventually Mark Anthony and Cleopatra were defeated and Octavian Caesar rose to power as the first emperor of the Roman Empire. Julius Caesar was made a god and Octavian was declared to be the divine Augustus. What makes one a traitor and another a patriot?

“Who won”.

Prior to the emergence of the Roman Empire there had been a dominant human consciousness that perceived the world reality and truth as intrinsically tied to the culture and social reality. Though it had been evolving, it’s not like it happened all at once, for the most part humans found their station in life as it related to their culture as a whole. Individual consciousness was not highly regarded. There were few “individuals”. As a matter of political and economic realities changing, social structures crumbling, the proliferation of new ideas, philosophy’s and theologies, the thinking of man began to expand and take on a new more individual character. There was less and less of the identification of who one was with what had existed relatively stable for millennia. The empire was a Great Big world. And despite what we know of the oppression of the Romans relatively peaceful and affording many the opportunity to profit through trade and commerce. Yet there were many rebellions. Jerusalem was sacked and Judea turned into a wasteland, and 900 Jewish zealots committed suicide on top of Masada.

Were the 900 Jewish zealot’s patriots or rebels? That would depend on who you ask. Today in Israel they are definitely be considered martyred patriots. But in 72 CE, they were rebels, insurrectionists.

Rome was the dominant military and economic power of the time. Though as an economic power it would seem that the United States has slipped from that position of dominance considering that we have handed everything over to the Chinese so our corporations can realize a more significant bottom line. Militarily it would seem we remain at the top of the pile. Whether we will remain there or not – I haven’t a clue. But I believe over the years American priorities and interests have been distorted and in some sense perverted by our commitment to American corporate economic domination throughout the world. I realize that it is this “domination” that had benefited most of the situations of Americans (including myself) over the years. But the question is, simply because I have benefited from it does that make it right? And should I continue to support policies of my government and American corporations when I believe there’s not a mutual benefit to be received and enjoyed by others the world over and particularly with whom we do business? Should we as Americans be committed to a lifestyle and standard of living so far above (at least by our perspective) the rest of the world’s, to the detriment of and alienation of humanity around the world in general?

Now, realizing that this is not a popular perspective, and I would rather see American military forces not only pulled out of Iraq, but as soon as feasible – out of Afghanistan, and I would look forward to diplomatic talks with the Iranians (without conditions), and I believe our relations with Israel should be reconsidered and alliances withdrawn as well as possibly trade and economic sanctions considered, and more focus should be placed on improving the situation of the Palestinians within the Gaza strip and the west bank, and probably a lot more than would not suit the “cowboy diplomacy” mentality that pervades much of our nation, and considering that I consider the capitalist system as intrinsically “faulty” if not utterly “evil” and should be dismantled and reconstructed on a worldwide scale -- Would I be considered a “patriot” or a “traitor”?

In all this I’m not saying I could or would do anything more than I am. Besides write and speak up where I can I know of little else that life has afforded to me to do. Like everyone else I’m just trying to survive as best I am able. If faced with unique and extraordinary situations I cannot say what I would do. Except act as best my conscience directs me at the time. What would that be? We’ll find out at the time.

At the beginning of this essay I quoted a lot of generally “conservative” perspectives of what patriotism meant. There were a few that I didn’t quote that besides expressing a general support for military personnel and families qualified their position with a right to dissent government and administration policies. Though I am somewhat closer to that perspective I also believe that those who choose the military, as it is currently a voluntary decision, and though some form of military would seem necessary for the foreseeable future, the choice to become a part of it is a choice to accept all that goes with that territory . It is a willingness to kill, to obey orders, to turn your mind and body over to the will of another, and that other may not act, think and function in conjunction with a good moral conscience. The decision to accept that is a decision to be held equally accountable for all those orders executed. “He’s the universal soldier and he really is to blame, his orders come from far away no more, they come from him and you and me, and brothers can’t just see, this is not the way you put an end to war”. Buffy Saint Marie

The concept of patriotism that was expressed in those first few paragraphs more than anything else, expressed a reality and manifestation of what is the American national secular religion. Though most would probably concede some faith in some contemporary religious concept of god or deity, that was not the point. And all this can be justified as natural to our human condition . The feelings, the sense of reverence and awe, the angst , that dread that you might get that one call that you hope never comes, the flag waving, the pledge, the anthems – hymns, all these are expressions of the need to justify that which you can’t explain and that to which we must attribute some divine purpose and quality lest it slip into an abyss, a void of meaninglessness.

My concern is not for “my” nation. But my concern is for humankind. My god is not that of my father’s or of my ancestors that I am aware of. But my god is that which I know in me. Does that make me faithless? Does that make the traitor? Does that earn me the scorn of fellow Americans? Is my nation our government? Its national boundaries? Or is my nation that people I live and commune with? I think it is that, and governments and ancient constitutions are as outdated and irrelevant as church dogma, doctrine and creed seventeen and 1800 years old and questionable as to the spiritual significance and to validity contained therein. Essentially, bound by documents so far removed from contemporary experience, realizing these to be only the product of human minds wrestling with their own agendas, there comes a time major renovations are in order, and it is better to consider these and work towards a more perfect “constitution” relevant to not only our countries collective vision but in conjunction with that of the world. We are not an elitist people, and we’re not an elitist “nation”. It is time we mature as a “nation” and grow out of our infantile, childish, adolescent, youthful immaturities. More often than not as an adult that means you don’t get it your way. But a mature adult can be content and satisfied with who they are. I suppose that’s my definition of patriotism.

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[1] http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/04/patriotism.opinions.irpt/index.html

[2] http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/04/patriotism.opinions.irpt/index.html

[3] http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/04/patriotism.opinions.irpt/index.html

[4] http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/04/patriotism.opinions.irpt/index.html

[5] http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/04/patriotism.opinions.irpt/index.html

[6] http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/04/patriotism.opinions.irpt/index.html

[7] http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/04/patriotism.opinions.irpt/index.html

[8] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriotism

[9] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriotism

[10] Concise Oxford Thesaurus

[11] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chauvinism

[12] http://atheism.about.com/od/politicspoliticalissues/a/problempride.htm